You hear cops say, ‘I am the job,’ or ‘my life is the job.’ But I have read that you can’t be ‘the job’ all the time or you’ll go crazy.
I set lofty goals for myself. Each week I write (in ink!) the goals for the week on my calendar. For example, this week on my calendar I have the following writing:
Plot 3 chapters a day Monday-Friday for The Lies of Ellie Carlton
Outline 5 chapters a day M-F for Sibling Revenge
Edit 50 pages a day M-F for Shapeless Descent
Edit episode 1 of web series
Finish Executive Summary (for a business my husband and I are starting)
Plan next Girl Scout meeting
Tweet four times a day
Write next blog
It is all too much! Each day I dread looking at my to do list. My stomach filled with anxiety as I start my first project, knowing that there is no way I can finish all of this and not go nuts. However, if I find myself not focusing 100% on these things, I feel guilt. I can’t help it. I have this theory: I chose this. I decided I would be 32 yrs. old, unpublished and working in health care and yes sometimes struggling to pay bills. I continue to choose this life when I don’t focus and accomplish all I can in a 24-hour period of time. But then there are times that my daughter asks me to play cards or go for a walk and I can’t turn her down but the whole time we are spending time together I am secretly thinking ‘am I a failure as a parent because I am not earning more so she has more opportunities? More experiences?’
Here I am, working on this platform that everyone says we writers (especially unpublished ones) need instead of editing other projects and not spending time with my daughter and stressing that I am never going to finish editing my book in time for my March 1st deadline! ARGGGGGGG!
My question is, how do I do it all? How do I finish all these things, have time for my child, my husband, the gym, friends, work when there are only 24 hours in a day and 8 of them I am stuck at work?
The answer: get over it.
Yes, wise words. Simple and true. Get over it. No one is the perfect wife, parent, writer, etc. Sometimes I need to choose my girl over my blog. And sometimes I need to choose running over editing.
Parting words to ponder:
“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”
-Stephan King’s The Shining
Don’t be Jack.