The Job

You hear cops say, ‘I am the job,’ or ‘my life is the job.’  But I have read that you can’t be ‘the job’ all the time or you’ll go crazy.

I set lofty goals for myself.  Each week I write (in ink!) the goals for the week on my calendar.  For example, this week on my calendar I have the following writing:

Plot 3 chapters a day Monday-Friday for The Lies of Ellie Carlton

Outline 5 chapters a day M-F for Sibling Revenge

Edit 50 pages a day M-F for Shapeless Descent

Edit episode 1 of web series

Finish Executive Summary (for a business my husband and I are starting)

Plan next Girl Scout meeting

Tweet four times a day

Write next blog

It is all too much!  Each day I dread looking at my to do list.  My stomach filled with anxiety as I start my first project, knowing that there is no way I can finish all of this and not go nuts.  However, if I find myself not focusing 100% on these things, I feel guilt.  I can’t help it.  I have this theory: I chose this.  I decided I would be 32 yrs. old, unpublished and working in health care and yes sometimes struggling to pay bills.  I continue to choose this life when I don’t focus and accomplish all I can in a 24-hour period of time.  But then there are times that my daughter asks me to play cards or go for a walk and I can’t turn her down but the whole time we are spending time together I am secretly thinking ‘am I a failure as a parent because I am not earning more so she has more opportunities?  More experiences?’

Here I am, working on this platform that everyone says we writers (especially unpublished ones) need instead of editing other projects and not spending time with my daughter and stressing that I am never going to finish editing my book in time for my March 1st deadline!  ARGGGGGGG!

My question is, how do I do it all?  How do I finish all these things, have time for my child, my husband, the gym, friends, work when there are only 24 hours in a day and 8 of them I am stuck at work?

The answer: get over it.

Yes, wise words.  Simple and true.  Get over it.  No one is the perfect wife, parent, writer, etc.  Sometimes I need to choose my girl over my blog.  And sometimes I need to choose running over editing.

Parting words to ponder:

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

-Stephan King’s The Shining

Don’t be Jack.

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